I had intended my blogs to be about my artwork but now finding myself in a deep depression I thought perhaps I could raise awareness also for bi-polar disorder. I recently read an interesting article on the dopamine system and highly creative people which you might also find interesting if you are creative yourself and perhaps suffer from depression or other mental health problems.
I’ve never really liked forums on depression because if you feel depressed there’s nothing worse than reading about how depressed everybody else feels and how awful the world is. The best thing when feeling depressed is to surround yourself with happy, positive people. Trouble is I do suffer from paranoia and think I’m then making them depressed as well. It’s all quite ridiculous as is life in general, which can either seem humorous or depressing and confusing, depending on state of mind. I admire those people, who are stable but then I wouldn’t change my mental state in fear of losing my artistic abilities.
I really admire Stephen Fry. So clever, honest and successful despite his bi-polar. Well I’m off to see the psychiatrist tomorrow but in my depressive state wonder what on earth they can possibly do to help me. I just have to have some faith I guess. I suppose though without feeling the depths of depression you cannot experience those incredible highs that are at the other end of the spectrum.
Something cheerful to end on. I’m listening to some reggae at the moment that I thought I had lost forever. I used to be a rasta, a white one. I had a massive collection of reggae albums that my first husband stole from me. I still had lots and lots of tapes from that era. Late 80’s I guess. I lived in Stamford Hill at the time and went to art college in Camberwell. With Tottenham at one end of where I lived and Shoreditch, Dalston at the other end I was in my element, surrounded by Rastas Even whilst at college my lunchtime trips to buy sandwiches would usually entail a sighting of a Rasta or 2. I visited Blues and Reggae clubs regularly, often dodgy places but amazing music. I would often be the only white person in the place along with my friend whom I would drag along. Anyway, I found out the other day I could buy a cassette player to change my tapes into MP3s. My first is playing right now. Once I have all of them I may have something near to my record collection. It’s going to take some time but will be great listening to all that old music one at a time.
I need to get on with some artwork. I keep procrastinating at the moment, sleeping all over the place, no routine. Don’t forget to check out my website and sign up to win a piece of my artwork. I always get a buzz from seeing someone has taken an interest and entered the competition. I don’t have many so far. I would really appreciate it if you place an entry, you can always give it away if you don’t like it, or sell it perhaps 😀 It’s not going to cost you anything anyway and it will make my day. Just read on the home page how to enter. Thank you for reading and even more thanks if you enter my competition.